DISCLAIMER: For those expecting this blog entry to talk about love, well, guys, sorry. This post isn't about that. (Or at least, not about that ANYMORE.)
I have a disease. It's a little unusual and it's an indication of something worse--immaturity (but it's arguable).
I have this tendency to get attached to something or someone so easily that by the time I should let go, I actually restrain myself from doing so. I always tell people that I HAVE moved on but in fact, the thought haunts me every night and I am having this weird feeling of pain and discomfort--like there's a pea in my bed and someone's stabbing my chest.
Sometimes even, I hold on to something (or someone, for that matter) for too long that instead of gradually letting go, I find myself losing grip and let myself fall into a limbo of bad memories and bad feelings. Nobody catches me because nobody knows exactly where am I. And then, I won't be able to come back, and if I ever see the thing (or person) in the future, it would not be the same again. The fall already drained all the remaining emotion and attachment out of me. Worse, I could nothing to undo what has been said and done.
It all boils down to mastering the art of timing.
I bet, I am actually getting the hang of it already.
For example, I have long ignored the idea of calling someone really close to me as bestfriend. For one, I have quite a share of experience in losing one after the other. Like the term "Shai's bestfriend" is jinxed. Probably being labeled as somebody's bestfriends entitles one to demand a looong list of responsibilities from the other, sometimes, even without thinking of sharing those responsibilities. It's worse than getting into a relationship. It will not be as easy as getting hooked up because of love at first sight and split up because of infidelity. It's like marriage without those binding documents (or maybe there ARE binding documents). Bestfriend relationship does not necessarily require sweetness, passion and romance (of course!). It could stand a life with 90% trust and 5% love and 5% hating-each-other-so-much-because-you're-so-different-from-one-another.
Or maybe, I'm wrong.
Letting go, as I can see it, is the phase when you let someone choose his way OUT of something. The operative word here is OUT. In letting go, nobody pushes someone out. It's when allowing that someone to move freely away, so to avoid strangling and struggling. It's letting go of one person's hand and watching that person go--yes, pretty much like that of the movies.
Losing grip, on the other hand, is something "done" with force. I put quotation marks in done because, after all, nobody wants to lose grip to something, especially when you know that when you lost your grip to the only rope that's keeping you from falling from the edge of the cliff. But one does not need to lose grip when one knows exactly when to let go. There's no need of suffering from unnecessary blisters and falling into limbo if one knows IT'S TIME TO LET GO. In the first place, why hold on to something or someone too tight or for too long? Remember, too much of a good thing (or of anything) is bad.
This are the lessons I had to learn the hard way. I had to suffer falling into limbo, not only once--not only twice--but several times. And trust me, the feeling is awful.
It's always better to let go, when the time is right. It's a liberating feeling, because you do not only let go of the person or thing, but you also let go of all the heartaches that holding the person or the thing back could cost you. Tweet
I have a disease. It's a little unusual and it's an indication of something worse--immaturity (but it's arguable).
I have this tendency to get attached to something or someone so easily that by the time I should let go, I actually restrain myself from doing so. I always tell people that I HAVE moved on but in fact, the thought haunts me every night and I am having this weird feeling of pain and discomfort--like there's a pea in my bed and someone's stabbing my chest.
Sometimes even, I hold on to something (or someone, for that matter) for too long that instead of gradually letting go, I find myself losing grip and let myself fall into a limbo of bad memories and bad feelings. Nobody catches me because nobody knows exactly where am I. And then, I won't be able to come back, and if I ever see the thing (or person) in the future, it would not be the same again. The fall already drained all the remaining emotion and attachment out of me. Worse, I could nothing to undo what has been said and done.
It all boils down to mastering the art of timing.
I bet, I am actually getting the hang of it already.
For example, I have long ignored the idea of calling someone really close to me as bestfriend. For one, I have quite a share of experience in losing one after the other. Like the term "Shai's bestfriend" is jinxed. Probably being labeled as somebody's bestfriends entitles one to demand a looong list of responsibilities from the other, sometimes, even without thinking of sharing those responsibilities. It's worse than getting into a relationship. It will not be as easy as getting hooked up because of love at first sight and split up because of infidelity. It's like marriage without those binding documents (or maybe there ARE binding documents). Bestfriend relationship does not necessarily require sweetness, passion and romance (of course!). It could stand a life with 90% trust and 5% love and 5% hating-each-other-so-much-because-you're-so-different-from-one-another.
Or maybe, I'm wrong.
Letting go, as I can see it, is the phase when you let someone choose his way OUT of something. The operative word here is OUT. In letting go, nobody pushes someone out. It's when allowing that someone to move freely away, so to avoid strangling and struggling. It's letting go of one person's hand and watching that person go--yes, pretty much like that of the movies.
Losing grip, on the other hand, is something "done" with force. I put quotation marks in done because, after all, nobody wants to lose grip to something, especially when you know that when you lost your grip to the only rope that's keeping you from falling from the edge of the cliff. But one does not need to lose grip when one knows exactly when to let go. There's no need of suffering from unnecessary blisters and falling into limbo if one knows IT'S TIME TO LET GO. In the first place, why hold on to something or someone too tight or for too long? Remember, too much of a good thing (or of anything) is bad.
This are the lessons I had to learn the hard way. I had to suffer falling into limbo, not only once--not only twice--but several times. And trust me, the feeling is awful.
It's always better to let go, when the time is right. It's a liberating feeling, because you do not only let go of the person or thing, but you also let go of all the heartaches that holding the person or the thing back could cost you. Tweet
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